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Each week the Eyres post one tried and proven “Parenting Principle” (or sometimes a Marriage Principle) here on this page, and also on social media (Instagram @richardlindaeyre, Facebook @lindarichardeyre, and Twitter @richardeyre). Please follow, and invite your friends to do the same. Each week the brief, quotable parenting principle will appear with several links to articles, podcasts, videos, or radio and television appearances that give more ideas, instruction and inspiration on that principle.

December 6, 2018

Top Ten Marriage and Relationship Tips Bonus #11: Elevate Your Marriage Goal

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The problem with “equality” in marriage is that it can induce a kind of confusion with “sameness” and a constant awareness of who is ahead and who is behind. It may produce more competition than cooperation. A better marriage goal is “oneness” where appreciation and cooperation and compensation for each other’s weaknesses can produce a synergy where the total is greater than the sum of its parts.

Hydrogen, by itself, is a gas possessing many unique properties. Oxygen is another gas with its own set of qualities. But when they are combined, in a committed, fused sort of way, they become marvelous, clear, flowing, life-giving water. In a similar way, a man and a woman, involved in and committed to the Oneness of their marriage, can continue to each possess their own individual qualities even as they combine them into a wonderful, synergistic union where the whole is greater than the sum of its parts.

For additional insights on the idea of oneness in marriage:

Article 1 Article 2 Podcast

November 28, 2018

Top Ten Marriage and Relationship Tips #10: Believe in the Micro and the Micro of Marriage

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There are plenty of discouraging statistics out there about the decline of marriage and worrisome public opinion polls showing a shocking rise in the number of people who don’t think marriage is any longer relevant.

And sometimes these kinds of statistics and polls can tend to make us lose hope for the future of the institution of marriage and even discourage us a little about our own marriages and our ability to continue to strengthen them.

But there is another side to this coin. The fact is that the very best marriages in history are happening right now. Today’s good marriages are very good marriages, representing more equal partnerships and the meeting of more physical, mental, social and emotional needs than marriages have ever met before.

For more data and commentary on what is happening to marriage on the macro, and ideas on how you can be optimistic and positive about the future of your own marriage and of marriage continuing as the most important institution of all time:

Podcast Article 1 Article 2 Article 3 Article 4

November 9, 2018

Top Ten Marriage and Relationship Tips #9: Make it a Three-way Partnership

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To have an eternal marriage, we need an Eternal Managing Partner. When a married couple begins to see a spiritual dimension to their union, it can make a two-way partnership into a three-way partnership and can bring a kind of holiness and perspective into the marriage that lifts it above the daily struggles and deepens the love and commitment.

A large majority of Americans believe in some form of higher power and engage in some kind of prayer. It is only natural to want help from this higher source on the most important relationship of our lives. Approaching marriage spiritually gives it a dimension and a level of commitment that improves its chances of lasting and flourishing.

Getting away together as a couple to communicate and plan and enjoy each other without the kids or cares or distractions of the world can have a powerful strengthening effect, but there is another kind of getting away with a third partner, and it is called prayer. When a couple recognizes not only their interdependence with each other but also their dependence on the Divine, something wonderful happens to a marriage–a new perspective comes, and a kind of help that only the Spirit can bring.

If we think of a husband and a wife as the two lower corners of a triangle, and God as the top point, then the closer we each draw ourselves toward the top, the closer we will find ourselves to each other.

For more ideas and approaches to this spiritual perspective in marriage:

Podcast Article 1 Article 2

Painting by Caitlin Connolly

November 2, 2018

Top Ten Marriage and Relationship Tips #8: The Joining of Two Families

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Whether we like it or not, marriage is not just between two people. It is between two families. The more that fact is honored and embraced, the better! We have friends who began to refer to their in-laws as “in-loves” and we liked the idea so much we copied it.

If we are parents, we should think of the marriage of a son or daughter as just the gaining of an additional son or daughter. We should think of the family of that new son or daughter as a merger with our family and make every effort to make them even more than friends. Visits, calls, and every other kind of communication should be proactively pursued so we get to know them and love them. If you are the one getting married, or even if that marriage happened a long time ago, make a point of prioritizing your spouse’s family and thinking of them as your family. Anything less will be cheating yourself as well as them!

For practical ideas on how to do this:

Podcast Article

October 26, 2018

Top Ten Marriage and Relationship Tips #7: Trade Independence for Interdependence

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We live in a world where independence is the perceived goal of almost everyone, and the hoped-for outcome of everything we do. But there is something better. Much better!

It is interdependence!

In an interdependent marriage or relationship, two people essentially trade their independence for something better. They learn that, through total commitment and genuine love, a certain synergy can develop where the total is greater than the sum of its parts. Within the confidence and security of their marriage, they each drop their facades and egos and allow a vulnerability and accept each other’s help. They compensate for each other’s weaknesses, complement each other’s strengths, and create a new entity of oneness without losing their separate individuality. They develop a wonderful, almost magical interdependence that combines synergy, symbiosis, and synchronicity.

For more detail and how-tos on interdependence:

Podcast Article

Painting by Brian Kershisnik

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