We continue with a preview of our forthcoming book The 8 Myths of Marriaging.
2. The Achievement Myth:
Achievements are harder and take more work than relationships do.
Truth: Relationships are, both in the short term and the long term, always more important than achievements are—and usually harder.
- Sub-myth: The home supports the career.
Truth: The career supports the home. - Sub-myth: Achievements can be pursued, while relationships just happen.
Truth: Relationships, particularly the marriage relationship, deserve the most “pursuing” of all; and relationship goals can be as effective as achievement goals. - Sub-myth: Parenting is more work than marriaging, and good parents are almost always good marriage partners.
Truth: Good marriages take constant effort and almost always make for better parenting—but this doesn’t necessarily work the other way around. - Sub-myth: Marriage is about two individuals, and it works best if the families stay out of it.
Truth: Your marriage, like it or not, is the joining of two families, so you might as well embrace it. Our in-laws can become our in-loves; the more positive and proactive we are about extended family relationships, the more we will get and the more we will give.
If this myth interests you, or if you think it may be affecting your marriage, take a look or a listen to the advice contained on this subject in the following: