In the last two posts (the last two weeks) we have presented the first two of the 8 Myths of marriage, and the response has been so great that we have decided to do a whole series and cover each of the other 6 “Myths of Marriaging” over the next 6 weeks.
We call it “marriaging” because it is a dynamic, happening word; while “marriage” is a static, happened word. Marriaging, like parenting, is a skill—or an art or a science—that can be continually and actively worked on, developed, and improved.
As we strive to build and grow our marriaging ability, there are some misconceptions that can get in our way—some misplaced beliefs or false paradigms that point us in the wrong directions and suck the joy out of our relationships. They do this through unrealistic expectations and false goals that cause dissatisfaction, discouragement, and frustration.
We call these misconceptions the Myths of Marriaging because they all sound good—many of them are even disguised as wise advice or packaged as sage insights. Indeed we may have heard some of them so many times that we assume they must be true.
But they are not.
Some of these myths raise our hopes and expectations unreasonably; others oversimplify; and still others exaggerate a good direction so much that it turns back and harms our relationship instead.
The good news is that wherever there is a myth there is a countering truth. There is another side of the coin—the true side.
Sometimes knowing both sides, and considering them together, can clarify and illuminate. Sometimes we need first to know what not to do or think or believe in order to avoid the common pitfalls that often overtake a marriage.
Then, by contrast, we need to know what to do or think or believe in order to maximize our marriages.
In this series, we will first try to dispel the myths, then to capture the truths.
For a verbal overview of the 8 Myths (and as a preview of this series) listen to the following podcast: